For those who don't know, the KonMari method is a process for paring down your Earthly possessions so that you only own things that you use or like to look at or in other words "spark joy" and I decided to do it!
The method is outlined in the books The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and Spark Joy written by Marie Kondo (thus, "KonMari").
I honestly forget how The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up was recommended to me, but it must have been from someone who knows me well because I LOVED. IT.
It's like a guide to being artfully OCD. Which I clearly am.
It put me at peace whenever I read it and made me itchy to start but I always kind of felt like I had a couple of remaining questions even after reading the whole book and was gun shy.
So when I saw that she had a companion book, Spark Joy, I bought it and sure enough, it answered some of the questions I'd had initially and generally gave me less of an excuse to keep putting it off. Plus I finally decided to move which was just the impetus I needed!
I saw that on Amazon there is a companion journal that goes with these books and at first I was like:
I don't need to journal about this, I'm just going to get it done and be happy about it. Only losers journal things. 😝
And then I actually started doing it and was like:
I NEED TO SHARE THIS WITH THE WORLD!
Oh btw for the record, the KonMari process is *supposed* to take 6 months ...
And I decided to do it all in 3 weeks ...
She recommends that you do it before you move and I didn't know I was moving until a few weeks ago. Hey, no time like the present and where there's a WILL THERE'S A WAY MOTHERF*&#ERS!!! 😁 😂😅🙃😲
(I apologize in advance for all of the emojis)
Day zero: vision boards and tidying goals
I had never done vision boards before, so I was not sure what they were supposed to look like or completely what I was doing, but much like the KonMari method, I just decided to dive in.
I think they look pretty good, don't you?? 😎
But even before I completed the vision boards, I first typed out what my goals were. Kondo advises you to ask yourself why you are doing this and what you hope to achieve.
I was a little surprised by my goals at first, they are very traditional-gender-role-oriented. Sometimes a voice inside of me is like BUT I'M A FEMINIST WHAT DOES THIS MEANNNNNNN 😂😂😱😵🙅😶
But, then again when I think about myself and my ideal life I *do* like things more traditional than maybe other people think or than I would normally care to admit 😮😃👍
A couple of my goals are:
- Feeling relaxed in my space
- Being the type of person who buys flowers and cooks a lot and enjoys it
- Being more motivated and productive
- Exercising and staying in shape
- Making things easy to clean because I enjoy it
I'm so weird I enjoy cleaning I know! It's weird! But just wait, it gets weirder.
To be continued!
So for reference I have been watching A LOT of Veep lately ...
So ... basically all of the Trigger Warnings.
I have had the worst fucking year so far. Just a relentless whirlwind of shit. Without going into detail, it's like God started 2016 in a drunken rampage and has been constantly taking the belt to not only America and the World as a whole but also me in particular like I'm His redheaded stepchild and broke His last bottle of Jim Beam when he's got the DTs.
I mean, maybe it's been this way for everyone, I don't know. Facebook is so fucked I really have no idea but I have personally really had a motherfucking doozy of a year. I mean, it is like Shit Creek shot off a tributary that's a stream of vomit and I have been stuck without a paddle AND a boat.
I don't know if it's worse when you're in a shitstorm if you're in a shitstorm with no umbrella at all or if you had one at first but then it blows inside out and so you have to throw that fucker away right in the middle of said shitstorm. OH and when you go and buy a new umbrella someone steals it so it's like you're getting just constant shit from above and below.
It's like WHAT in the EVERLOVING VALLEY OF THE FUCKS is going on.
I used to not give a fuck. Like, I used to be the fucking Lao Tzu of not giving a fuck. I had transcended the plane where fucks even exist. Fucks could not be found because they were in the same place as the sound of one hand clapping. That is how motherloving far away from fucks I was.
Then it was like some drunk asshole friend SOMEFUCKINGHOW got me to volunteer at a pissant fucking magic show or some shit and that magician fuckwad HYPNOTIZED me into acting like a chicken with everyone else and make a complete ass out of myself OVER AND OVER until even I myself came to believe I was a fucking chicken and just marched myself into a KFmotherfuckingC.
WHAT. THE. FUCK. JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST ON A CRACKER SOMEONE MAKE THIS STOP.
I would like to please stop losing jobs and boyfriends and friends and my insurance and celebrities that I care about and OTHER PEOPLE'S PETS APPARENTLY. Like OH MY FUCK everyone's pet died at once and I want to OLD YELLER myself.
And WHO do I need to BLOW to go ONE SINGLE GODDAMN DAY without a shooting and something about the election that makes me want to START a shooting?
I can't look at Facebook or the news or talk to another person without one of these things coming up like a dry heave filled with HAIR AND TURDS.
I'M SORRY AM I A FUCKING CAT?? WHAT IN THE FUCK FUCK GOOSE HAS HAPPENED? IS THIS PLANET OF THE RAPES? DID ZOMBIE HITLER DISCOVER TIME TRAVEL LIKE WHAT IN THE MOTHER OF FUCK DISRUPTED THE TIME SPACE CONTINUUM AND DECIDED TO FUCK US ALL WITH RUSTY CHAINSAWS?
I don't know if anyone else feels this way at all ... but it felt damn good to say that out loud even if my neighbors do have a straight jacket ready for me.
Oh PS my A/C was fixed today so THANK GOD FOR SMALL FAVORS.
In the heat of election season I am choosing - nay, I am BRAVE enough to talk about something that everyone should care about:
Alexander Skarsgård and why even sapiosexuals should love him.
Because look how smart.
Tarzan is the first blockbuster he's been a lead in and I think people new to ASkars may have the wrong idea and think this guy's just a beekcake with nothing under the surface.
The hot, hot surface.
I understand if you just wanna stop right here.
After a *great* deal of painstaking research (it was really difficult, you guys), I want to try to convert any holdouts who think this man is too pretty to be smart.
I mean, come on - he's reading.
So here are a few reasons you should join me in adoring this piece of art with a personality to match:
1. He's Swedish.
Do you even *know* about Sweden? If not, let me drop some knowledge:
They have one of the top 5 literacy rates in the WORLD and are in the top 10 for average IQ. Also, according to Wired, "Sweden has the most digitally connected economy in the world". Do you use medications? Buy furniture? Buy clothes? Chances are the Swedes have invaded your homes with their BRILLIANCE. AstraZeneca, H&M and IKEA are all Swedish companies. IKEA's profit margins alone prove how wicked smahrt these people are. IMO it's our fault if our dumb asses can't understand the directions on how to build a desk that ANYONE ELSE who SPEAKS ANY LANGUAGE can understand. Oh also most adults have completed college because guess what college is free there.
I could go on about their incredible environmental sustainability but I think you get my point - Alexander Skarsgård is Swedish and therefore he must be smart. They all just also happen to be gorgeous.
PLUS in an interview with Cover magazine, he shared his opinions on American culture and they're really insightful and interesting!
So much READING GEEZ.
2. He understands how evolution works (because he had a third nipple):
3. He's very funny.
And we all know that in order to really be funny you need to be intelligent. If I'm not living proof 😉 you can take a gander at Psychology Today.
Tarzan doesn't show off his comedic chops as much as I would have liked, but the eldest Skarsgård sibling has shown time and again that he's been hiding hilarity under those chiseled abs.
Here's a scene from True Blood that will probably get removed by HBO:
Earth to everyone: Alexander Skarsgård was Meekus, hello?
And here's the first video of a Funny of Die series Alex did with Jack McBrayer where he's hilarious:
4. He's socially conscious.
PS. Eric Northman gives 0 fucks about dressing in drag or playing characters of other sexualities.
His drag mother is named Mercedes.
This is important because he cares about how women and people of different sexualities are portrayed.
Some examples: Eric Northman on True Blood is pansexual, his character in Beyond the Pole is gay, his character Geert in Kill Your Darlings is transgender, they even filmed a kiss between him and Cristoph Waltz that never got shown in Tarzan. (Which is sad for everyone.) He's completely accepting and willing to represent whatever and whomever he pleases.
Because Eric Northman DGAF.
He's played challenging characters as well, like the one in Diary of a Teenage Girl where he plays a grown man who has a relationship with a teenage girl. He had a rull deep interview with Vulture about it.
Plus that 'stache.
Oh plus he went on a ski expedition to the South Pole with Prince Harry to raise money for the charity Walking with the Wounded, so there's that.
Exhibiting empathy infers emotional intelligence and ASkars? HE GOT DAT EI.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna get cozy and treat myself to True Blood Season 4 for the ...th time.
I leave you with this gem where Alex got decidedly DUMB:
"Welcome to Hollywood! What's your dream? Everybody comes here; this is Hollywood, land of dreams. Some dreams come true, some don't; but keep on dreamin' - this is Hollywood. Always time to dream, so keep on dreamin'."
People kept posting this on my Facebook wall when I talked about moving here. Even though it would make me laugh, it turns out this is applicable for a few reasons:
One is I kinda look like Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman.
And another is that Pretty Woman is just one of a few key 90's movies that defined Los Angeles for me years before I'd ever actually been here.
In the first episode of Portlandia, they say Portland is the dream of the 90's. I've realized that LA is also a dream of the 90s. The fashionable, socialite, surfer dude, valley girl, health conscious, socially conscious but at the same time superficial side.
Clueless inspired the vocabulary of an entire generation.
I still blame the fact that I say "like" too much on this movie.
I remember the flannel and the brooding, but more so I remember my friends wanting to go shopping at The Limited and have fuzzy pink pens and make up our own choreography to Spice Girls songs. Lest we forget, the 90's saw an economic surplus and even though I was too young to really know, it seemed like everyone could afford to care too much about how they looked and blow lots of money on new technology and Abercrombie and Fitch.
The 90's seemed to start that idea that you can be whoever you want to be and do whatever you want and be famous because you're special! My generation was arguably the first to be taught this way and to actually feel this way. Everyone gets a gold star; everyone wins. Late Gen Xers got a taste of that, but I got a sense that overall they came out a little more skeptical and worse for the wear.
At least Dave Grohl came out ok.
Portland and Seattle can have that flannel-covered, grunge soaked part of the 90's - I like the kind I've re-discovered in LA: the pre-packaged pop that makes you feel good about life. It may be superficial, but there is heart in there. *NSYNC and Britney Spears were businesses. LA is very good at getting it done and making it look good. That doesn't mean it's cold or uncaring.
Every time "California Love" or "This is How we Do It" or "Nuthin' But a 'G' Thang" come on I get excited because I'M WHERE THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT! (Well, not Compton, technically, but still!) That is what I grew up listening to. The Fresh Prince of Bel Air is what I grew up watching. LA is a collective experience of 90's kids and it's a damn good one.
I can't wait to have a best friend named Carlton and meet a rich old man who wants to give me a diamond necklace and use all of the Clueless quotes.
Mel: Where are you?
Cher: I'm just having a snack at my girlfriend's.
Mel: Where, in Kuwait?
Cher: Is that in the valley?
My rejected Amazon review for "Melanie's Marvelous Measles" (Paperback)
Yes! Measles are the best!
By Katie Keenan
LOVED this book!!
First of all, I have never trusted anything those stupid doctors say! What do they or the CDC know? A bunch of money-grubbers, they are! This book, however? Worth EVERY penny. What a delight to learn about how Melanie's fragile immune system was able to miraculously fight off this easily preventable disease! What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? RIGHT! Unless you do die, but who cares about all those kids that died at Disneyland anyway? Not me!
I totally believe that carrots and melon juice can cure this thing! I have rubella because I never got vaccinated for anything and I am fighting it off by taking baths in onion juice and rubbing garlic on my feet! I only wish that when I show off *my* red, spotted skin that it incited as much joy as when Melanie showed off hers!! Judgmental vaxxers. "You should really go to a doctor" Maybe *you* should really read this book!
It may be the brain infections and numerous comorbidities of developing a disease that has been largely wiped out due to vaccinations, but I HATE that Jared kid. Man, what an idiot. Doesn't he know that vaccines don't #!$$^%&$REWR#RSFDDSG
Sorry my glands are swollen and I have trouble typing sometimes. But, as I like to say: RUBELLA IS RESPLENDENT!
Thank you Stephanie Messenger for this brave, compelling story that throws scientific caution to the wind. I love my rubella and resultant cataracts! By contracting it I am so glad pregnant mothers and many others can now contract it, too and feel as alive as I do!! Because I'm fighting for my life! LOL! FIVE STARS!
(Special thanks to Addicting Info for spreading the word:)
CONFESSION: I've never seen the movie Elf.
But, I know basically what it's about and that Will Ferrell's character is a super happy, optimistic little elf guy named Buddy.
Lately, I've been starting to feel like Buddy.
Which is weird because a year ago I was pretty much the opposite. I was missing work, I was depressed, I was in a show that didn't get a great audience turn out, and I wasn't booking the things I wanted after 6 years of hard work in Chicago.
It's so great to have that excuse - a New Year, a fresh start - to start living your life again. The way you want to. And not apologizing for it or worrying about whose hearts might break or not break in the process. (Spoiler alert: I think I might be breaking some hearts!):
I am officially moving to LA to really begin my journey.
I feel reinvigorated. I feel like my life has purpose again and I am working toward that purpose. I'm exercising again, I care about what I am eating again, I am spending quality time with loved ones and scooping up acting webinars (I'm lookin at you http://amyjoberman.com/ !) like they are the candies at a frozen yogurt bar!
Now that I've become Buddy again I feel like people are looking at me strange or thinking that I'm even crazier than before. What's great is I don't care! I'm Buddy dammit and I'm excited about things!
People are surprised because they are seeing me rediscover a part of myself that has been missing for a while. Happy Katie. I'm a little wiser and a little smarter than I used to be, but I'm smiling again :)
For as long as I can remember, Much Ado About Nothing has been my absolute favorite play. This is not an elitist "I appreciate Shakespeare and am therefore better than you" thing, it is just genuinely my favorite play. Much Ado is my favorite play for the same reason Gilda is my favorite movie: the love/hate relationship. (Gilda would require an entirely separate blog post.)
Benedick and Beatrice exemplify what I find the most fascinating about male/female relationships: the way grown adults are driven to act like children because of pride, possible rejection, previous actual rejection, arrogance, and maybe even just because they can? It's amazing and hilarious and TRUE. I even wrote an essay in college comparing the Kenneth Branagh movie to the play. It was probably the most enjoyment I've gotten out of writing an essay (nerd alert!)
As a feisty redhead myself, (Seriously. Gilda.) I have always strongly identified with Beatrice. I have, in spite of myself, always wanted to appear strong even if I was secretly hurting inside. This probably stems from growing up overly sensitive, being very prone to getting picked on, and the resultant suffering. But before you think "woe is Katie" - without that experience I would not have become the quick-witted spitfire I am today. I don't think a single man I've dated has made it one evening without warding off at least some of my unintentional (or intentional) barbs.
Part of it is my past, part of it is my preference, part of it is stories like Much Ado. Who doesn't like a little excitement? What fun is it to just be lovey dovey all the time? I believe boredom is one of the worst things that can happen to me. Even romance novels usually have the hero and heroine hating each other at first. (At least the ones I've read ...) Then it's hotter when they finally do get together. It's the ability to get under someone's skin. To be affected, to feel a spark, to incite passion.
This is why I *need* to be in this play. I have had no such luck so far (with this type of relationship) or getting this part but as God is my witness (that's another one) I will play Beatrice!! Even if I have to produce it myself, I will play that part one day! As for now, I'll just have to settle for watching and re-watching the movies and continuing to display my wit like a badge of honor.
On Sunday, I taught a sold out advanced improv workshop at ComedyWorx (my old stomping ground) in Raleigh, NC. It went really well - the class was hungry for more advanced improv and acting instruction from Chicago :) I focused on the Annoyance aesthetic as well as Viewpoints training. Since I had received Viewpoints training probably 5 times in my life, I knew the value of exploring the space and being aware of your body and warming it up before performance of any kind! No matter how many times an instructor would teach the basics, I always thought it was a useful reminder. In addition, everyone has something different to say on the same subject. For example, one student is actually an improv teacher in the area and she said I taught the viewpoint "architecture" in a way she had never heard before!
A surprising amount of improvisers are not actors and vice versa, but I think experience in both is valuable for any actor or improviser - especially in the current trend of commercial auditions which favor actors who can improvise. (I got to audition for KFC because I was an improviser! That was a treat :) And on the other side, if I had not had experience memorizing lines and auditioning in front of a camera, I would not have been ready for that audition.
I could tell what I had to teach blew their minds a little bit, but that was definitely the goal. I think they appreciated the challenge, and I savored the ability to get to put my experiences into words! I remember when I was in school I wouldn't really learn something until I understood it well enough to feel like I could explain it to others. This workshop was a prime example of me putting my money where my mouth is, walk the walk and talk the talk, and any other idiom that fits this situation :) I hope I get to teach there again and explore what other knowledge I have to impart!